As I get older I find that I have a lot of beliefs that get challenged, especially having kids. They ask the most simple questions, which makes me stop in my tracks. Most of the time it’s the question “WHY?”, and the typical response is “Because I told you so!” Deep down I know there is no real evidence to back up my given direction or request. This is because I was ingrained by my parents about what was right and wrong. For example, my generation was taught that too much tv was going to turn my brain into mush.

Naturally, as we have kids, we pass the rules that our parents gave us down to them. Some of us try to limit the amount of “Screen Time” our kids have. Being a good parent, we don’t want our kids to have mushy brains. However, I have a different experience with “Screen Time” and view it a little differently. Even with my perspective, however, my son brought it to a whole new level.

5 Major Categories of Time

When it comes to filling up our time, we can categorize it into 5 major groups. We can either spend our time being entertained, learning, health & fitness, building relationships, or being creative. Whats important to know is that all of us have our own preference to these groups. For example, there are people who like to be in the digital space, be creative, and they enjoy exercise. Some individuals will prefer to be outside, be creative, yet not enjoy exercise. Is one person better than the other?

Just like our food, it’s all about balance. We should be able to enjoy time on screen and off screen. The only thing that I fear is if those who prefer screen, solely use digital media, to get all 5 major categories. For my kids I don’t mind screen time as long as they can connect it to the real world.

The Digital Problem

My youngest loves to watch Youtube, he is actually addicted (which is a problem and a whole different topic). He watches a lot of videos to learn and be entertained about the game Minecraft. He takes what he sees and tries to replicate it in the actual game. He also spits out random facts (which the source needs to be verified, another topic on its own), so he is learning. So, I can see that he is being entertained, he is learning, and he is being creative in the digital world. However, he is still missing relationship building, staying active, and is missing reality. I think to myself do we have a problem?

Well the other day my wife and I told him, that he was done for the day with “Screen Time” and he had to go do something else. He said his typical thing, “I don’t know what to do.” Then I piped in with my usual response, “My mother always gave me two options. Go find something to do or I will find something for you to do (which always meant house work).” Not wanting to do house work, I was forced to figure out how to entertain my self outside. This does not sooth my son, but makes me think to myself “Yes, digital is bad, these kids don’t even know how to entertain themselves.”

Later that evening my youngest really wanted to play a video game. We told him sorry, screen time is over. Acting as if the world was ending, he falls to the floor and starts complaining. With a little back and forth, he snaps out of it (Not sure how he does this, but its like a light switch). He stops crying instantly, in my mind I am thinking what just happened, and looks at me. This is the moment he becomes the teacher and I become the student…

Father Becomes the Student

He says “I have an idea, we will play the game with Legos.” I reply “What do you mean?” He repeats with more detail “We will build battle ships with the Legos and we will chase each other like in the game and try to shoot each other down.” Darn, I really wanted to wrap up this email I was writing (who is the addicted one 🤔). After denying him screen time and the look of conviction on his face, I could not say no.

We go over to the bins full of Legos and we start building our best versions of the battle ships for about 1 hour (trying to find the pieces you need is hard). When we were finished building, we started chasing each other around the house. We had to go warp speed sometimes (full out sprint trying not to crash into any walls and not break ourselves). When one of our ships broke (its hard to sprint and hold onto a lego without them breaking apart), we would stop and go back to the Legos in order to build them stronger. This break was a good rest because I was out of breath and sweating. I soon realized something…

The idea my son had (inspired by a video game) was entertaining, educational, creative, bonding, and physical. I sat there in awe for a moment as I realized what my son unintentionally was doing. I knew right then and there, with experienced proof, that video games are not necessarily bad. We just need to learn to spend time in both worlds (digital and real life) and balance it with the 5 Categories.

More importantly I learned more about my son. I now have another tool to use to relate with him better. If I want him off screens, it does not have to be a battle all the time (I’m sure this tool will not work 100% of the time). I can enrich his life and mine by bringing his interests in the digital world into the real world. I am always learning…